Lesson 4...went back to church today!!!

So the kids and I attended Berean Baptist Church this morning, it's the 1st time we've been to church in over a year and it felt so good to get back in it.  I've realized by going to church I've accepted my "not-thin" self by being able to go and not feel judged by my weight or the way it makes me look.  I've been praying to God every day to help me with my weight loss journey and give me the strength and wisdom to overcome it.   Also, felt extremely excited today that when I put on my jeans they seemed to fit just a tad looser than the previous time I wore them.  The message at church was "still haven't found what I'm looking for" meaning that once who have "found" God you don't need to look for anything anymore and you can do anything through Him!

Day 3 - Surrendering to God

In today's lesson in the book, it taught me that I just have to turn it all over to God, as if I was praying for someone's salvation, but I am actually praying for my own salvation over food and weight.  I realized I need to get get back into a daily prayer and constant conversation with God, not just to help with with this weight loss journey but within all aspects of my life...that's why I put the weight on in the first place because I was not "right" with my relationship with God.  By getting my life back on track or in balance with God, I know everything will start to fall/align back into place.  I love that God is always there, he's the best friend that will never abandon you even if you are not seeking Him.

Day 2: New Scale = New Reality

So my husband has agreed to "lose the weight" with me and decided we needed a new scale because we would both like to lose about 10 lbs. before we go on vacation July 6th.  On the new scale, I weighed in at 181.4...a little more than originally thought.  After reading Lesson 2 in the book, I realized I have to accept and love my "not-thin" self and embrace her before I can attempt to lose the weight.  This is extremely hard for me because I am not very fond of the way I have "grown" to look, so that is my goal for the next few weeks.  Also, my husband and I have started a "calorie-counting" diet through and iPhone app and I am limited to 1200 calories a day...so we'll see how cranky I am towards the end of the week...lol

Day 1 - The New Journey Begins

So I read Lesson 1 in the book last night.  I actually found it very interesting because it had me write down a bunch a reactions/subjects of feelings that I have and it ended with prayer.  I am a very organizedType A kind of personality, therefore, it it very hard for me to give up any kind of control even though I know I need to turn my heart and feelings over to God.  In speaking of that I am planning on returning to church this next Sunday to get back into the fellowship I so desperately need.

Day 0

So I plan on reading a chapter in the book my sister gave at least every other day.  I tend to work out 4-5 per week and eat a well-balanced diet, therefore, I think the reason I have not been able to lose weight is because I do not have the right mind-set, especially since church has been on the bottom of my priorities list. 

My goals for this weight loss journey are:

1.  Start attending church regularly and praying for guidance on this journey.

2.  Exercising at least 30-45 minutes each day.  I am currently doing the Couch 2 5k program on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays and a Yoga video on Tuesdays & Thursdays.

3.  I will continue to eat a well-balanced diet, avoiding carbs and fried-foods.

4. I will continue to wake up early to work out still try to eat healthy while on vacation in July.

Day 0 Picture:  181.4 lbs.

Hips - 44"
Waist - 41.5"
Thigh - 25.5"
Arm - 13"
Chest - 39.5"

All about my previous journeys...

First, a little more about myself.  I am a 31-year-old wife and mother of 2; a 10 year-old son and 7 year-old daughter.  I live in Kodiak, Alaska and island in the Gulf of Alaska about 250 south of Anchorage. Through childhood and adolescence I was always thin and was easily able to keep weight off or I knew how to get it off when I seemed to be gaining a little here or there.  As I entered adulthood tat became a little more difficult.  I was married by 19 and had my first child by age 20.  After I got married I put on the "marriage 20" and gained that amount of weight in about 3 months, then I found out I was pregnant with my son and put on 38 more pounds during that pregnancy.  I was 182 when I delivered my son in August of 2000.  Being a young new mom I put my son first and i was a distant last, therefore, getting the weight off was not my biggest concern.  I eventually lost about 20-25 pounds once I got back into a normal routine. I was only working part-time (20 hours per week) so I had some time to be able to maintain a steady exercise routine.  Although, we had a lot of financial stress and I gained more weight and by the time my son turned 2, I was 178 pounds, which did bode well with my small-boned 5'4" frame.  We eventually got our finances under control and moved to a new city closer to my husband's job and I began to meet new friends and got out more often an was very active.  When my son was 2 1/2 w decided we wanted to try to have another baby and I made the decision I was not going to be this overweight before I got pregnant again, so through diet and exercise I lost 24 pounds in about 3 months and was down to 152 (only 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight with my son) when I got pregnant with my daughter.  During this pregnancy  walked about 2-3 miles 6 days a week and went to Curves Gym about 4-5 times per week and needless to say my pregnancy, labor & delivery were smooth sailing and I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes within 3 weeks of giving birth.  I was still about a size 10-12 after my daughter was about 6  months old and I pretty much stayed comfortable there until January of 2006.  The previous fall (September 2005), my husband and I had coached my son's soccer team and we were given a plaque with a picture of the team including both of us as coaches and I did not like the way I looked so I made a choice that my new year's resolutions was going to finally lose the "baby weight" since we had decided we were not going to have any more children.  I lost about 25 pounds in 4 months by cutting back on my calories (I was only eating 900-1200 per day) and walking 2-4 miles 5 days a week (pushing my daughter in a stroller while walking my son to school).  I kept this weight off until we moved to Alaska in February 2007.  I wore a pair of size 4 jeans on the plane the day we moved here.  The weight eventually and gradually started coming back on during the first 2 years we lived in Alaska, I think it was because I was not getting out much here moving from such a warm climate to a very cold climate in the middle of the winter.  I probably put on about 25 pounds during the first three years here.  This majority of the weight gain is when I went back o work outside thehome after being a stay-at-home mom for 6 years, the stress of being back in the work force.  I was teaching preschool 4 days a week and also planning the curriculum, while my husband worked 48-hour shifts and taking care of 2 kids...no wonder why I was gaining weight. Deciding that the "stress" of working so much was getting to me I decided to take a 15-hour a week job with the school district at the local high school and things seemed to settle down, then I got an opportunity to work at he elementary school both my kids attended, but it was 6 hours a day and I decided to take it in February 2010.  Everything was working out fine until my daughter stated showing signs of severe stomach cramps accompanied with gas and bloating.  After she visited the doctor she was diagnosed with lactose-intolerance in March 2010.  Even after going dairy-free, she was still not feeling well.  Since infancy, she had had bouts of cyclic diarrhea and/or constipation, but we just attributed it to having a "weak stomach", but when these symptoms came back with a vengeance, we had her food-allergy tested in August of 2010.  During the test she had no signs of food allergies, but cramped during the "gluten" portion of the skin test.  The doctor then sent he to the lab for bloodwork.  Within a few weeks her doctor contacted us and told us she had Celiac's Disease, an auto-immune disorder that has a gluten intolerance.  Needles to say, our lives were turned upside down with this diagnosis.  So as I am working 30 hours per week, I now have to totally reorganize my pantry to gluten free to keep my daughter healthy, to mention the cost of going "gluten-free".  Once that seemed to get under control, my son's asthma began to flare up and he had a serious attack after being exposed to a friend's cat in November 2010 and was hospitalized for 2 days.  Also, since I had started working more hours, we were finding that attending church seemed to have been pushed to the bottom of our priorities and the church we were attending was going through a pastoral and deacon change. Therefore, in the past 9-12 months I have gained an additional 25 pounds and I currently weight 178 pounds.  Then for Mother's Day 2011, my awesome sister sent me the book A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever.  Since I am done wit work for the summer I am beginning my NEW weight loss journey and trying to get the weight off for good!